“So yeah… I need some help. A voice of reason? Maybe it is sleep exhaustion? Maybe someone is playing a sick prank.. A very silent and quick as hell somebody.”
“Are you hearing the voices now? While you are talking to me?”
“Yea, now they are say that my spinal cord will also look magnificent over the pine flooring on the porch.”
…. “I am going to have to say those words you don’t want to hear. You may be safer going into a clinic where they can monitor and watch you. Somewhere that you would not be alone.”
“They won’t let me. They say if I leave the house without some brain on the porch that they will never go away. Not even in my sleep. And I already tried that. The voices get so loud when I leave the house, louder with each step, that they are deafening. At least in the house they are just louder than whispers.”
“How about some headphones with music. Does that stop them.”
“Um..no they are like in my head.”
I look over my shoulder and there is the red plastic cup in the doorway to my bedroom again. So I set down my headset and walk over to that red plastic cup and lift it up, look inside and I see me. Not just me, but the me I would be without this goddamn job. Without all these wine sacks draining on me every day.
I pause and just stare into that red plastic cup.
Shit… the call..
…”So my family is going to be home any minute and I want to see if they can see the red plastic cup.”
Good he never noticed..
“I think that would be a good idea. If they can see the cup, and you are still hearing the voices, and they can’t have your wife drive you to a clinic. If they can al hear the voices, call the police.”
“I am going to put you on speakerphone. I can hear my wife opening the door now.”
…Alright.. you could have just hung up and let me figure what the heck I should do about my own red plastic cup!!!!!
..”Honey! What are you doing up? Why aren’t you in bed yet.”
“I have a surprise for you and the kids. Wait right on the porch while I get it.”
..Come on.. let the wife and kids see the cup.. Let it not be in his head.. Let it all turn out OK in the end…
What just happened?
“HELLO!! HELLO!! IS THERE ANYONE THER!!!”
Those were definitely gun shots.
I immediately dialed 911 and told them the whole thing, it has happened to me before when someone actually kills themselves on the other line while on the phone with a suicide counselor. I have been doing this for 5 years.
When I get done talking on the phone with the 911 dispatcher I start thinking about that goddamn red plastic cup. It is yet again not on my desk or in my office.
This is stupid I should be filling out an incident report on that guy. Well at least I know right where it will be..
“S.K. Why don’t you just lay on the bed and strangle yourself. You know just let yourself go…..”
What the fuck was that?
It was almost inaudible like a mumbling Darth Vader that speaks in whispers.
I grab the red plastic cup and have the feeling, the need to look into it. So I do, and yet again I see my reflection. Just me. Nothing special..